In the Republic of Important Distractions –
An ‘idiot’ scientist is on an indefinite hunger strike demanding fairness in education.
The education system responds with the remarkable consistency of an Indian student. It doesn’t study for the test. It simply skips to games period.
But not the game the country actually plays.
The Football World Cup.
A tournament where we passionately support Argentina, Brazil, Portugal, Germany, France and, occasionally, Cape Verde depending on who provide better reel content.
Social media is busy dissecting whether someone is Messi-ng with the match results, while far fewer people seem interested in debating the integrity of institutions much closer to home.
Our national team, meanwhile, watches the matches with the rest of us. One hopes the scientist understands that competing against bicycle kicks is a losing battle.
Speaking of kicks, the national egg-throwing championship continues despite soaring prices. If we dislike you, an egg volunteers for national service.
Poor Egg, however, has an unexpected rival.
Sugarcane.
Thanks to its miraculous makeover into ethanol by a benevolent father, it now strolls around like the Kingdom’s Energy Minister.
“I am no longer juice,” it declares. “I am the answer to the fuel crisis.”
Egg is fuming. “One more interview and I’ll omelette myself.”
Across the ocean, Donald Trump is rumoured to be planning the Great Fuel Invasion by kidnapping the Father of Ethanol before he invents a highway that runs on optimism and leftover sweets. The mission reportedly failed after the convoy got trapped at a toll plaza without FASTag after braving an endless network of flyovers. Masterstroke.
Ultimately we are exactly where it began.
The scientist is still fasting.
Football is still rolling.
Eggs are still flying.
Sugarcane is still trending.
And we remain busy discussing everything except the chapter titled “What Actually